We all have those memories…you know the ones…the ones we recount when we get together at family gatherings or with a long-time group of friends.

Many of these memorable moments happened by chance – that hilarious thing someone said or did to create that moment that’s burned into our memories forever. Others occurred by happenstance – those moments when a number of serendipitous circumstances came together to create magic or wonder.

These types of memorable moments can’t be replicated or created. They just are.

Other memorable moments are created through planning and effort. We can all remember the heart-warming and touching weddings we have been to, which have taken months, if not years, to prepare for. We can also remember family reunions that have taken tons of planning when we have gathered with our loved ones to reconnect, play board games, and to laugh.

So how we can be the architect of our memorable moments?

Here are three simple ways to plan and create memorable moments:

1. Gift People with Experiences (Rather than Things)

I have a number of friends and family members who subscribe to the idea of gifting people with experiences that create memories. By gifting people with experiences rather than things, they are creating the conditions for memorable moments to happen.

Our family has reunions over the December holidays every two years because spending time with family has always been a priority. All of these gatherings are memorable – we play board games, share stories, and recount all those past memorable moments that make us laugh or touch our hearts. We also often set up a 1000 piece puzzle for people to come by and work on whenever they wanted to.   It’s always a great gathering spot for people to visit and enjoy the collaborative challenge of completing something together.

My sister Rachel often organizes t-shirts or other things (like matching animal pajamas) that we take home with us to remind us of these hilarious and heartwarming reunions. My sister Naomi often organizes a baking activity for the kids – a whipped cream log cake or decorate your own cookies station.

Every few years, my husband’s Aunt treats our family to events like Cirque du Soleil or theatre shows that are amazingly memorable. We always looks forward to attending and end up talking about these events for years afterwards.

Creating memorable moments doesn’t have to cost a lot of money…we can surprise our kids at school with a picnic over the lunch hour; we can plan a picnic at a local park; we can go for a walk or a hike; we can find and visit a local park or waterfall; we can volunteer our time to serve others; we can gift our family members with a day to help clean or paint a room.

2. Display Your Memorable Moments

A second important way to be an architect for memorable moments is to find ways to display and remind ourselves and others of all the memorable moments we have had.

One of our family’s favourite things to do is to sit in front of our computer while the screensaver flips through our digital photo album. We remember our first house, our first dog, that time when the kids first tried waterskiing, and we are reminded about how cute each of our children were as babies.

When our children were smaller, we would often gift the grandparents with photo books of all the cousins at birthdays or holidays. All the grandparents love these books and they are often displayed prominently in their houses for guests to pick up and lovingly leaf through.

My mother-in-law, Liz, started a great tradition of taking Santa photos every year of her kids. She has a holiday album that documents their growth in holiday festive clothing that she brings out every year for us to all look through. We have started this same tradition and flipping through these Santa photo books are a cherished part of our family’s holiday as well.

My Mom keeps a treasure box, where she stores photos, letters and other significant mementos. She pulls it out whenever she feels a bit down or wants to relive some of her memories.  Going through her treasure box always makes her feel better.

So be an architect of memorable moments by documenting and finding ways to make your memorable moments visible so that you can relive the wonder and magic of those moments.

3. Look for Opportunities to Create New Memories

There is a very memorable moment in my life that I shared with my family. And the memory would not have been the same if I hadn’t noticed an opportunity and taken action on it.

It was the day of my PhD defense.

I had taken 11 years for me to get to that day of my oral defence. Yep…11 years.

Throughout that time, there were lots of different factors that slowed my progress: I had given birth to two amazing children; our family had grieved two tragic and sudden deaths in our extended family; I worked full-time during the majority of this period; and I was suffering from extreme fatigue for last three years prior to my oral defence due to all these stressors.

So when it came time to finally defend my dissertation, it was a moment of relief – it seemed like I had finished a marathon or summited one of the tallest mountains in the world. And my entire family had cheered me on the entire way.

I flew out to Vancouver to complete my oral defence at UBC Law School. And I am fortunate to have a supportive, close-knit family. My husband and his best friend scheduled their annual motorcycle trip as a trip from Toronto to Vancouver to be there in time for my defence. My Dad and his partner, Susan, flew in from Toronto and my brother came up from Tucson to attend. My two sisters, my Mom and my Aunt Char, who all live in British Columbia all drove into Vancouver to show their support during my oral defence.

My whole family and I arrived early since we were informed that the door would be locked after the defence began. My sister Rachel, who is a teacher, decided we should change the set up of the room so that the tables were arranged in a large rectangle. “It’s more democratic this way,” she said. And it was.  So we all pitched in and got the room set up so that everyone could sit facing one another. Then the 13 of us took our seats and waited.

Fifteen minutes before the defence was scheduled to begin the four examination committee members started to arrive. As each committee member arrived, they came into the room, looked confused, backed out and checked that they were in the right room. It seemed like they thought they had walked into a class rather than a defence with all the people waiting and the room set up as it was.

I did my three-hour defence and it went off without a hitch. My whole family came into the room and observed – and some of them even asked me some questions about my dissertation. The Dean of the Law School also attended as did a friend from my graduate class. My supervisory committee asked us all to leave the room so they could deliberate. Then they called me back in and told me that I passed.

I was so happy.

And then I thought about my whole family standing outside in the hall, who had supported me throughout this journey. I thought about how I could go out into the hall and tell them but that it would be so much better if the Chair and my Committee told them directly.

So I asked: “Would you be able to call my family back in here and tell them?”

The Chair looked at the other members of the Committee with a confused expression on his face and asked: “Is that allowed?”

He reread the rules and they all agreed that they didn’t see why he couldn’t.  So the Chair discussed with the Committee what he would say and then called everyone back into the room.

The Chair waited until everyone was seated. Then he told my whole family that I passed.

Cheers and whoops erupted from my family and friends and the committee members were smiling from ear to ear. One of my committee members was laughing so much at the celebrations that tears were rolling down his cheeks. Then we all lined up for a photo and that same laughing committee member stood on the table to take a photo of the whole big group of us.

It was an amazing moment and was unlike any other that those committee members had seen. I had coffee with that laughing committee member a couple of days later and he said he had never been to a PhD defence like it because most people don’t want any family members in the room during their defence!

So yes, the moment would have been memorable if I had just walked out into the hallway and told my family and friends that I had passed. But because the Chair called everyone back in, and told them himself, it was SO. MUCH. BETTER. Not only did it recognize all of my family’s support for my work, it really brought them into the experience and provided a triumphant ending to a long journey for everyone.

My family looks back on that day fondly. We often recount that day and giggle about how confused the committee members were when they walked in and quickly backed back out to check if they were in the right room. We often joke that we could all go and crash PhD defences and then cheer and whoop whenever the person passes. We talk about that moment when the Professor was standing on the table taking our photo. It was deeply memorable. And it was so much more memorable since I noticed that moment that the Chair could bring everyone in to share in that victory.

So become an architect…be that person who looks for the potential for memorable moments in the everyday. Be that person who lays the groundwork for moments that you will talk about for years to come. And be that person who plans out and then constructs memorable moments for you and those around you.

We would love to hear your thoughts and reflections in the comments section below.  And if you have a memorable moment you would like to share, please do!

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